


100% Match

by cybox



Category: Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Online Dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 09:09:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18913888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cybox/pseuds/cybox
Summary: Bruce signs Clark up for online dating (kinda).





	100% Match

“I knew this was a trap,” Superman spoke with a frown as he read the words ‘Find your perfect match today’ in large cursive letters on the Batcomputer’s main monitor.

Admittedly, he was not expecting to be introduced into the world of online dating, but he had been suspicious when Batman invited him to the Batcave at the conclusion of their latest Justice League meeting, saying there was something terribly important he needed Superman to do. Seeing as how Batman rarely (read: never) asked for help, Clark agreed, thinking he was speaking under duress, and was half-expecting to be attacked the moment he stepped foot into the Batcave.

“I don’t need this, Bruce,” Clark spoke presently, shaking his head.

“Sure you do,” Bruce answered as he ushered him to his chair.

“Nothing heals a broken heart like a new love,” he said, speaking as though he were the world’s leading expert on love.

One week ago, Clark confided to him that he and Lois had broken up. The man insisted that he was the one who had ended things with Lois, but Bruce knew better. The man was clearly still pining over Lois: he hadn’t missed the long look of longing as he stared into his eyes and the tenderness in his voice as he spoke to Bruce while they had coffee together at their favorite café in Metropolis.

“I’m fine, really,” Clark repeated himself for the thousandth time but all the same sat in front of the Batcomputer at Bruce’s urging. His eyes scanned the screen, noting the sleek and elegant black design and tasteful lettering. He turned to his friend. “Did you make this?” he asked, pointing at the monitor. Bruce shrugged.

“I write programs for making searches all the time. It wasn’t so hard to take the basic algorithm used in a typical dating site, extend a few parameters, and have it so it runs through the government digital database.”

“I think that’s illegal,” Superman commented mildly, which Bruce ignored.

“I took the liberties to do a pre-screen to exclude the major supervillains. The last thing I need is for Lex Luthor to pop up as your top match.” He stopped, feeling a bit unnerved by Superman’s staring. “What?”

“You made a personal dating site just for me?”

It sounded bad when he put it that way.

“Just fill out the damn questionnaire,” Batman responded gruffly and turned with a swish of his black cape.

“How many questions are in this thing?” he asked as he scrolled down the length of the survey.

“1024, not counting the short answers.”

“There are short answer questions?”

“Better get to it.”

Bruce let out a smirk at the sound of Clark grumbling under his breath.

***

“There, I’m done,” he said after a minute.

“I hope you answered the questions seriously,” Bruce responded with a frown.

“I did. Superspeed, remember?”

“Right.”

Bruce offered him some tea while they waited for the Batcomputer to run the search.

“So, what happens after I find Mr. Right?” Bruce noted the title Clark used but made no comment.

“I'll do some light research on the individual’s day-to-day routine and find the perfect opportunity for a casual and not-at-all forced first meeting. I’ll give you a script to follow.”

Clark resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Bruce, you can’t direct my life like it’s a movie.”

“Watch me.”

“Right. Because you’re Batman,” he said, and Bruce let out one of his rare, genuine smiles.

Naturally, the “light” research would involve 24/7 surveillance on the subject to ensure that they were, in fact, a perfect match for Superman. He would, of course, inevitably find something wrong with them, and then move on to the second-best listing, then the third, fourth, fifth...

As Bruce pondered the possible futility of attempting to find someone suitable for Superman, the Batcomputer beeped, indicating it had finished its search. Bruce looked up, his heartrate rising alarmingly as he stared at the monitor.

“You have a 100 percent match,” he said, stunned.

“Do I?” Superman sounded uninterested.

Bruce’s fingers trembled imperceptibly as he typed a series of commands to pull up the profile of Superman’s supposed soulmate, all the while, the implication of the impossible probability hitting him hard: there was someone out there who was meant to be with Superman, someone who completed his very being. Of course, it was also possible there was an error in the programming, or more likely, Clark didn’t take the survey seriously at all, which would explain the anomaly...

His mind was in such a frenzy that it took him a few moments to register the face displayed on the screen. Bruce stared, his mouth slightly parted in shock at the handsome face he was greeted with, a familiar face with piercing blue eyes, square jaw and raven black hair.

He hadn’t heard Clark get up from his chair, so he jumped a little when he felt Clark’s warm body leaning against his back.

“So what do you think? Should I ask him out?”

“You have terrible taste in men,” Bruce blurted out.

There was a pause, and the weight on his back lifted. “You’re right,” Superman said, his voice sounding cool and detached. “So who’s number two?” he asked as he moved to the keyboard to pull up his list of potential suitors. He was stopped, however, by a tug on his shoulder and a sudden crash of Bruce’s lips on his.

“You do that and I’m bringing out the kryptonite,” Bruce spoke in ragged breath after releasing him. Clark gave a sappy smile.

“Duly noted,” he said and pulled him in for another kiss.


End file.
